Essay Comments

The comments on my essay were very helpful. I learned that I need to proofread more carefully because I had some careless errors. I also need to work on expressing my ideas and analysis using conversational vocabulary. I realized my sentences do not flow as smoothly as they should and using more of a conversational writing style will help. I'm also missing a proper topic sentence for the first body paragraph, I used semicolons improperly (and should be using commas instead), I have a few sentence fragments, I need to remove the header on the first page, and i could use a better title. All together, i need to clean my essay up. My ideas are there but I need to work on expressing them clearly and smoothly.. and the grammar mistakes only reduce clarity. I may know what I'm trying to say but the reader does not.. so I now know that I need to be more aware of my grammar and the way I demonstrate my thoughts.

The Most Important Part of an Essay..

THESIS!

The thesis is the backbone of an essay, thus, being extremely crucial. The thesis briefly explains what the entire essay is going to be about. After reading a proper thesis, the reader should understand the point of the essay and how the writer is going to prove this point. Without a thesis, the reader is left confused and lost; not knowing specifically what the writer is talking about. And if one were to write a bad thesis, this situation would leave the reader with more confusion because the reader is unsure of what the writer is trying to say.. thus leading to the possibility of the reader losing interest. Ones interest in reading an essay is extremely important because it's what compels them to keep reading. The thesis allows the reader to fully comprehend where the essay is going and interests them to read on; THUS, making it the most important part of an essay!

A for Alfi

I read 3 essays and A for Alfi was my favorite....


The main point of the essay is about how Austen introduces his characters giving the reader distinct first impressions that which are not always valid.


The essay begins with an introduction to Austin's writing style. Leading to the first impressions that Austin provides the reader with  The body paragraphs address characters that Austen gives false first impressions of. Also providing quotes that support these examples and the author clearly backs their thesis statement


The author has a good sentence structure. The only sentence i would revise would be the last sentence of the second paragraph. Its an awkward sentence in my opinion and it doesn't make sense. Also i found 2 grammatical errors that must be fixed.


Besides those few corrections, i think this essay topic was well addressed and structured clearly. It was an itneresting topic and the author did a great job at proving thier statement.